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Before I realised, I was lying on my back on the mat, stark naked. Fromsomewhere she had picked up some hair clippers and before I realised hadremoved great clumps of pubic hair. As I began to come out of myemotional bubble, she had removed what was left and covered my groin infoam. She shaved my groin, pulled my legs up over my head exposing mybutt, and shaved my balls and bum."Best we get rid of all that, it will only make things more difficultlater."I was trying to come to grips with what had just happened, and insteadof considering my immediate predicament, could instead only think of howI could explain to my mates at the gym, or the doctor, why I was onlycompletely hairless 'down below.' I was in such a state of confusionthat I was unable to think clearly.Meanwhile a thick disposable nappy had been slid under me and I suddenlyfelt a sharp jab in my buttock. Matron stood there, with an emptysyringe in her hand."Nothing to worry about, just a little something to help you be. Beachcomb. There’s a speedboat to see dolphins, even,” the speedboat bit for her brother, the dolphins for me.“It would be fun to see dolphins,” I allowed. “They say that they’re smarter than we are.”“We learned the Mexican Hat Dance in, when, fourth grade?” remembered Curtis.“Fifth. You boys couldn’t even clap right,” his sibling’s response.“Dibs on the worm in the tequila,” Curtis decided, but perhaps seeing my alarm, added, “Don’t worry, Mom, if you just want a regular Coke, you say, ‘Una Coca Cola.”“Un Coca Cola,” corrected the other. “A ‘refresco’ is masculine.”I missed the distinction.“You’d have to fight off Latin lovers, of course,” to me.Give me a break!But even without such, Cabo San Lucas, wherever you are, here we come! Cosmopolitan says we should broaden our experiences.MONDAYThe flight worked like a charm. “No frills, no spills,” as Curtis put it. En route, I plowed through a few pages of “Listen, Learn Spanish,” though I couldn’t do the listening part. I already knew.
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